On compassion

Perhaps watching a dog slowly die from old age isn't that much different than watching a human being die.

Without getting into a discussion on the nature of personhood and the differences between humans and animals, and without getting into arguments concerning the wishes of the dying or the unending pain they may feel, you can find a fundamental similarity in the fact that we all die - all organic beings. Our bodies stop working, and if it's from old age, they often do so in a slow and perhaps painful manner. Maybe it can be more painful or uncomfortable for those watching than for the one doing the dying.

Our dog is dying. We've had her for 14 years, as I figure it and for the past few we've seen her get slower and stiffer. Dad would give her ibuprofen for her arthritis. Now she's deaf, but she can still see, and often lies under the porch or in an out-of-the-way spot.

At one point there were a lot of flies bothering her, especially on her ears. I think that they could sense her dying more than we could.

I talked to my mom about putting our dog to sleep. She said she just couldn't do it. She wouldn't be able to do it. To take it out behind the house and pull the trigger. She can't do it. She does her best to make the dog comfortable but wants to let her die on her own.

My mother has watched a lot of people die. She works in a nursing home, where the medical smells mixes with the knowledge that people don't go there to get better; they go there to die. She's thought a lot about it.

I believe that there's a lot of compassion involved in taking care of a person - or an animal - when death is right around the corner. It seems easier to actively end their misery by whatever means. It's often called compassionate to do that. But what I've been realizing as I watch our dog die is that it takes a certain quality to be around a dying being and to let death come on it's own without hurrying or helping it along. And I think that that quality is worth nurturing, despite how difficult it is.

So our dog lies by the dryer and I do my laundry and smell the sick smell and rub her head from time to time. She doesn't appear to be in pain but just lies there.