Accolades do not prepare us for mediocrity. Unexpected recognition says "you are better than you think you are." Well, thank you very much, but that's still quite terrifying. What do people expect of me now?
Today I sat on stage in chapel and shook hands with President Litfin because I was inducted into the Wheaton College Scholastic Honor Society. Chapel attendance was pretty thin, but there were still quite a few people who witnessed the event. I'll put this on my resume, too, so from now on this event will shape the way people think of me and what they expect of my life.
A book that I had signed by a professor said 'To Karen, with anticipation of God's leading you.' I like that. That's helpful. Wherever God leads me, that's the way to go, that's what to expect; that's what Dr. Treier expects, at least.
It's interesting how one accolade leads me to desire others. I entered a paper contest and went to the award ceremony today. I didn't win, but part of me really wanted to win, to continue to recognition that I have begun to garner.
But another part of me also wants to sink back into a comfortable anonymity, only a few people knowing how fantastic I really am, but without the pressure of having to be excellent and to be one ahead of everybody else.
And I don't want to forget what Paul says in Galatians - are we trying to win the approval of men, or of God? May I always ultimately seek approval from God.
2 comments:
the second to last paragraph is meant to be sarcastic - "how fantastic I really am"
Dear Karen, I hope there is never a question in your mind how proud I am of you. And that I rejoice with your rejoicings and not just your pain (not that I ever rejoice in your pain). You know what I mean. ^_^
Count me among the league of Dr. Treier, but even better because I have already tasted the fruits of your life, and they are sweet, loving, and kind. Keep sharpening your mind. I am excited to see what holes you poke, what ideas you defend and build. With love, Natasha
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